Tuesday, October 2, 2007
So this morning I decided that since I was up early, and I didn't have class until 2:00 p.m., that I would take a walk towards the flatirons. So I rode my bike through a neighborhood in boulder (beautiful houses up here) It started to get really hard to ride my bike up the hill, so I got off and walked. At one point I was really near where I wanted to be, I started to get tiredish, so I decided tyo slow down and take a picture of the moon with some beautiful fall leaves. At the point where my body actually stopped moving, I could feel my heartbeat in my ears. I decided that I should probably sit down. So when I felt better, I rode my bike down this little tiny hill to a path opening, it looked like such an innocent little path.... no it wasn't it was rocky and a little steep to be on with a bike in your hands. Obviously it was a no bike trail, but there was no place to set my bike and keep it safe, so it came with me. I walked up the first part of the hill, beautiful picture opportunities, I was in pain, I finally got to a bench where I was able to stop and rest awhile, got some pictures, then went right on walking, this part of the trail was harder just because there was hardly any room to roll my bike and not carry it on my back (heavy bike) So I got to a semi flat part and stopped, I had no idea where I was, but the one thing I did know, was that the flatirons were a lot closer than they had been. I kept walking trying to find the flattest/easiest path that led back to the direction I came from. It kept going and going, then some guy passed me saying that I better not get caught with my bike (no bike path) And I kinda was like "no duh" (in my mind) So I kept going getting more lost as time went by, the flatirons getting even closer, I felt as if I couldn't go on, but I had to just cuz I'd be bear bait if I stayed. (The warning signs about bears did not help the anxiety) So eventually I got to a part of the path where it flattened out and widened, I just thought, I have to have faith that my body will go down this path and I will find my way. I kept telling myself that this is kinda like life, I have no idea where I'll end up, I just have to have faith that I'll end up where I want to be. I took beautiful shots of the scenery and just let my anxiety blow away with the wind. I kept going the direction that I knew would get me closer to where I wanted to be, and sure enough I popped out at then end of the trail into chataqua park.... It was such an amazing walk that made me feel like I could do it ten times over now (without my bike of course) But I just thought that faith in where I'm headed mixed with Love and Support from friends and family is all I need. This walk was so uplifitng.